They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
