Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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