Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize