3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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