I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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