he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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