she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
