party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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