ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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