when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
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