I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well you can't waste a boner
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there