using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.