I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
