Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks