I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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