we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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