Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
