HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
