My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
True but thats because hes a fetus.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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