she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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