is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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