What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A+ Viking dick
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
