Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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