Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
