Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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