Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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