dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
