Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
