TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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