420 ftw
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize