Me. At least after what I've been through.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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