I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
