so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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