think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there was a trapeze. enough said
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We had to coat check the pizza.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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