im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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