now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
