Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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