forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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