girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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