im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
