no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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