Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
