i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
