You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
