Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
