My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
