but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am available for nakedness
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