I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
