i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
