Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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