I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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