Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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