Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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