I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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