Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
